you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
