are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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