all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
