ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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