using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
