It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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