I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Randomize
