yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
