its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize