well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
