The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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