Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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