so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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