did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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