he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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