so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
