please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
