Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
