Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
someone owes me an orgasm
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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