He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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