you guys were way drunker than both of me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
