I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
