you guys were way drunker than both of me
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
