Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
