We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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