There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
