You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
are you so shy because you have an std?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
