Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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