my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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