How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
