Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
