I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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