I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
