If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
