What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
