would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
