so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize