Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
