Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize