I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize