Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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