Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
