I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize
