***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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