I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
