You're my little dorito
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
