sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize