Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just cropdusted the office
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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