either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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