if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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