Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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