I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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