didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
