And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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