I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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