could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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