worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My balls are so social today.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Two words: blizzard sex
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize