hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
