If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
