You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
