If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
