he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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