There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
