So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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