yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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