when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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