i need an iv and a liver transplant
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Your cock deserves a montage
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
