But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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