He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Houston, we have a squirter
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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