i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
