Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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